Who put that there?

It's natural to run into things.

Its amazing how much of my life has been marked by me running into stationary objects.

When I was two I ran into a wall at church and knocked out my front teeth.

When I was five, my parents took the family to Disney World. I was running around in the Little Mermaid water park and ran straight into the Ariel statue and busted my lip open.

Disney World is not only the place where dreams come true, it is also the place where little girls get punched in the mouth by mermaids made of stone.

When I was eight, we went to a neighbors house for new years eve to celebrate the new millennium. I was running towards the fireworks (not a good idea I suppose, perhaps this was divine intervention) and ran straight into a pole.

And I hadn't even been drinking.

Mainly because I was eight.

First of all, who put a POLE in the middle of a backyard?! Nothing says "welcome to 2000!" like a black eye.

When I was fifteen, I took the driving test for the first time. I didn't even get out of the parking lot, due to the fact that I hit a parked car while backing out.
So I guess technically I didn't even get out of the parking space.

But before all of you Christ-like drivers judge me, just know I passed with flying colors the second time, and haven't gotten in any wrecks or gotten a ticket!
Well almost, but I pretended to cry, so I got off with a warning.
That policeman was like putty in my hands!
It was an Oscar worthy performance if I do say so myself.

I live in sweet, sweet ignorance of the immobile.